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Jun 8, 2012

Guest Gripe by Other Half






People, here's a twist to my usual posts.
An opinionated one from the other half.
The half who once claimed he's a simple man with simple tastes. (He'd got himself a simple girl/woman/old lady.) I was relieved when I'd met him since I couldn't cook to save my life. Mother inlaw never bugged me about that flaw and she's a great cook herself ... feeding and spoiling me rotten.
To cut a long story short, now that I've learnt to cook and bake, he's the one getting spoilt. Of course, there were the initial periods when he was the guinea oink and was so sweet, pretending not to gag at whatever he ate. Today, he's a changed man. He will critique "mostly" outside foods knowing full well that if he complains too much about yours truly's stuff, he would end up with the apron around his thickening waistline.
Well, here he is folks, the man of usually very few words speaking his mind ......


Rather than one to go .. Mmmm! Yes, Mon ami, magnifique! .. "truffle infused butter suffused saffron scallop squares!" .. or something similar, I have always been a regular "eat to live" non-foodie. But ever since my cute other half became a food blogger I may have been unconsciously paying more attention to food flavors. Today my latent inner food critic kicked in with a vengeance.

Distracted by shopping with a usually calm cool niece on an unusually fast and furious visit, Ping bought the first food item she came across and brought it home for my late lunch. It was a rather small but hugely expensive .. 'designer' burger. My expectations were high. After all, even I can grill a half decent burger.

The very ordinary packaging foreshadowed a gloomy outcome .. the bun had more than a hint of being past its best. This consideration was backed by a faint and very peculiar sour note to the overgenerous sprinkling of sesame seeds. Their aged softness added next to no textural advantage. All this conspired with the pretentious, scratch-made, excessively vinegary tomato catsup to throw any chance of a chefy flavor balance totally out of whack. Oh .. the ultra lean patty not only had a breadcrumb extender, it had way too much of it. Despite real assurances on the menu, the patty wasn't really grilled. It did not taste smoky .. fake liquid or otherwise. The crisps .. were not. It wasn't really horrid, but it wasn't even average either.

The best part by a long way .. was the perfect little pickle. Crisp, tangy yet sweet, delicious. Until and unless Arlo Guthrie rewrites "The Significance of the Pickle", we aren't going back to that joint. Which pretty much means, never. All I'll say is that it was in Bangsar.

I have religiously avoided critiquing food as I totally understand that one man's foie gras can be another's puke inducer. This should be the last of my food critiques, unless some other commercial offering is again as totally undeserving of its premium price .. as this gilded gherkin.

(Ping's 2 cents: He's right, you know. Can't blame him for griping. I would too. The packaging was such a let down ... a plastic take away box ... burger, salad and soggy fries all crammed in. You'd think the cost of the burger would have covered at least a half-decent 2 package deal to prevent soggy buns. Yeekh. Even the cheap fast food joints with flattened, cardboardy tasting patties have better packaging.)

PS: Check out Arlo Guthrie's "Significance of the Pickle" also known as "The Motorcycle Song". It's a very entertaining song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmCwvvwpPAo








34 comments:

  1. Hehehe what a fun read to wake up to!!! You two are made for each other. Did you learn the humor from him or he from you? First I was tickled by that photo. Before reading the post, I was wondering why are you going into a health science subject featuring a female organ!! Then i looked closer, i had to laugh at Aunty Lucy for being too clever. As I read on, I laughed some more at your other half's criticism on that 'designer' burger. Makes me think of what my mum said about me when i criticized bad and expensive food. She said in Cantonese that whatever once criticized by me, it will not worth a cent. Looks like your other half's criticism is more 'Geng'. I will now go check out the song to laugh some more. One last laugh here before I go. LOL!!! Hugs to you both.

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  2. Thanks, Lucy! LOL!! Well, he is my soulmate and you know what they say about two people being together for too long ... they tend to be like each other. But I guess I'll have to say we were both pretty similar in our sense of humor that's why we understand each other so well.
    A Female organ? What? You and I need to have a little talk and then some education in human anatomy :D
    You should also check out Arlo Guthrie's other songs ... they're hilarious!
    Hugs back X2!!

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  3. Ping-for a moment I thought you were describing the bad experience with the fast food burger...your hubby is just like your with his humor. You both must crack up each other with your funny remarks.
    I really laughed so hard about your remark on the "large three elves" comment on my blog!
    As far as burgers go here, in the fast food places, they all try to "outdo" each other to make a better burger, with the perfect bun, and if you're not satisfied, they will make you another to your liking!
    You and your hubby are a blessed couple, which is so nice, and true soul mates...how sweet is that?!
    xo

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    1. Hehe .... glad you enjoyed it.
      Trying to outdo each other benefits the consumer, which is a good thing I suppose. Wish they had the same mentality here :(

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  4. I just had to LOL a few times..you two are meant to be together...both have a sense of humor.
    Wish you a relaxing weekend!
    Angie

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    1. Thanks, Angie! You have a great week!

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  5. Loved reading this. Burgers have lost a little of their draw for me after I had to give up the bun. A burger wrapped in warm lettuce shouldn't even be an option. We do have a local joint here in Jacksonville that, though, expensive, delivers a sublime burger experience. I was able to partake before my doctor lowered the boom.

    Hope all is well!

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    1. Awww, yeah, burgers without buns aren't the same. Glad you enjoyed reading this :)

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  6. What an enjoyable, hilarious post! It seems that your husband has an equally amazing sense of humour. If I ever see you both together, I will wear waterproof mascara ;-)
    I have never actually had a good hamburger apart from the ones I make (I'm not boasting: it's ridiculously easy of course, but most of all I love them well spiced inside too and here everyone seems to love hamburgers without any spices, often even lacking salt! No amount of sauce or other ingredients can save a hamburger without salt...).
    The photo is so beautiful I kept on looking at it for several minutes. You have outdone yourself. You are a real artist.

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    1. Hi Sissi! LOL!!! Waterproof mascara! Now who's the one with a great sense of humor?!
      Yeah, healthy burgers just don't work somehow ... at least not for us anyway :)
      I can't take all the credit for the photo. It's a joint venture this, and I'm happy you like it so much! Thank you!

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  7. Ha! What a pleasant surprise to hear from your other half. It was such fun to hear what he had to say, and I can imagine he is usually of little words, but this must of really stuck in his craw, to finally speak up about it. Fancy schmancy, even if just by the high cost! We rarely get burgers out, they just never seem to be as good as home. I wonder how they could get away with calling it grilled? Anyway you both are great and so entertaining!

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    1. Hi Lyndsey! Oh yes, I was quite surprised when he said he wanted to guest gripe for me about it. Haha! Definitely stuck bad!
      Glad you enjoyed reading this!

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  8. This is so original, a guest post by your husband. And my, is he farnee....what a laugh!

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    1. I guess it is different ... LOL!! Thank you!

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  9. Ping, my mum is never a good cook & I didn't like cooking until I came to live in Sydney! These days, my hubby always asks me to cook a proper dish instead of cakes/desserts just to impress my blog, hohoho! Well, actually, I didn't cook to impress my blog, I always cook the food that I like & just becoz he is not a big fan of dessert, he wants me to cook more savoury food!

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    1. I cook what I like to eat too! Can't argue with the chef, right?
      I came from a family of good cooks but that doesn't mean I am one. It just means I didn't have to learn while they were around to do it and until I moved out of the family home and had to learn to cook the things I craved. Turned out to be a good thing :)

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  10. Hi Ping, love your this posting. Both of you really hilarious and with great sense of humor.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Have a nice week ahead.

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    1. Hi Amelia. Thank you and happy you enjoyed this. Have a good week yourself.

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  11. Hahaha, this was priceless. I have to agree with your lesser half Ping, the only thing palatable in those burgers is the pickle. The pickle is never bad.

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    1. Hehe ... thank you, Zsuzsa. Gotta stick to homemade.

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  12. Aaah, I can relate - I don't think I've ever had a decent burger out before. If you want a perfect burger, it's always best to make it yourself. Even with ready-made burger buns it's still, often, a vast improvement!

    I know how that disappointment feels too - when you've been looking forward to something and it just doesn't hit home... really sad :(

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    1. Hello, Charles. He'll be happy to get a man's point of view. Told him he could reply to all the comments but he's back to being the man-of-few-words.
      Glad you share his gripe :)

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  13. alamak! only the pickle is nice?? hahaha! must really go and chk out the significance of the pickle then! from a simple man with simple taste to now a person with sensitive palate..it's all your work, Ping! I remember i once had soggy fries too and comes with almost uncooked rice in an entertainment park, no outside food was allowed and therefore you can imagine how pricey that thing costs..i feel like throwing the whole plate back at them..of course i never did..that's not a nice thing to do..so ended up eating only the side veggies!

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    1. LOL! Yeah, that's what he says. And if you had seen everything that's crammed into that plastic container, you'd lose your appetite as well.
      Gosh, I can imagine the prices of food at entertainment parks and they're horrible. Worst thing is, you don't have a choice! Eat or go hungry ... cheez!

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  14. What an incredibly fun post--and love the photo at the top! It sounds like I would have been disappointed by that designer burger, too. Pricey and soggy? Yech.

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    1. Thank you! Glad you enjoyed that.

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  15. LOL! You are so creative having your man being your guest post. Most men like my husband can very critical with my cooking and bakes. It can be quite depressing sometimes embracing these critics but these critics can good too for my improvements.

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    1. Hi Zoe, yeah, but I'd rather have critical than no reaction at all :)

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  16. how do you take those amazing pictures? you never fail to amaze me!

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    1. Thanks Amanda! Don't you just love photoshop? :D

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  17. Oh, your hubby is a gem! Love how you've rubbed off on him :) And kudos to him for guest posting...mine will do most anything for me, but I think he'd draw the line on writing for my blog! (I must ask, just for sport!).

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    1. Harhar ... he'll tell you he rubbed off on me! I was surprised when he suddenly told me he was going to do this .... right after eating the burger. Try giving your husband soggy buns with his burger and see if it'll work the same way :D

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  18. Ping, your photo illustration is creative and humorous and your hubby wrote an honest review. I also liked your Arlo Guthrie song at the end. His Dad (Woody) was born about 30 miles from where we live now. Great music, great post!

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    1. Thank you, Kimby. Yup, he speaks his mind :)
      We can't seem to tire of this song! Always puts us in a good mood after that!

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