Guest Gripe by Other Half

People, here's a twist to my usual posts.

An opinionated one from the other half.

The half who once claimed he's a simple man with simple tastes. (He'd got himself a simple girl/woman/old lady.) I was relieved when I'd met him since I couldn't cook to save my life. Mother inlaw never bugged me about that flaw and she's a great cook herself ... feeding and spoiling me rotten.

To cut a long story short, now that I've learnt to cook and bake, he's the one getting spoilt. Of course, there were the initial periods when he was the guinea oink and was so sweet, pretending not to gag at whatever he ate. Today, he's a changed man. He will critique "mostly" outside foods knowing full well that if he complains too much about yours truly's stuff, he would end up with the apron around his thickening waistline.

Well, here he is folks, the man of usually very few words speaking his mind ......

Rather than one to go .. Mmmm! Yes, Mon ami, magnifique! .. "truffle infused butter suffused saffron scallop squares!" .. or something similar, I have always been a regular "eat to live" non-foodie. But ever since my cute other half became a food blogger I may have been unconsciously paying more attention to food flavors. Today my latent inner food critic kicked in with a vengeance.

Distracted by shopping with a usually calm cool niece on an unusually fast and furious visit, Ping bought the first food item she came across and brought it home for my late lunch. It was a rather small but hugely expensive .. 'designer' burger. My expectations were high. After all, even I can grill a half decent burger.

The very ordinary packaging foreshadowed a gloomy outcome .. the bun had more than a hint of being past its best. This consideration was backed by a faint and very peculiar sour note to the overgenerous sprinkling of sesame seeds. Their aged softness added next to no textural advantage. All this conspired with the pretentious, scratch-made, excessively vinegary tomato catsup to throw any chance of a chefy flavor balance totally out of whack. Oh .. the ultra lean patty not only had a breadcrumb extender, it had way too much of it. Despite real assurances on the menu, the patty wasn't really grilled. It did not taste smoky .. fake liquid or otherwise. The crisps .. were not. It wasn't really horrid, but it wasn't even average either.

The best part by a long way .. was the perfect little pickle. Crisp, tangy yet sweet, delicious. Until and unless Arlo Guthrie rewrites "The Significance of the Pickle", we aren't going back to that joint. Which pretty much means, never. All I'll say is that it was in Bangsar.

I have religiously avoided critiquing food as I totally understand that one man's foie gras can be another's puke inducer. This should be the last of my food critiques, unless some other commercial offering is again as totally undeserving of its premium price .. as this gilded gherkin.

(Ping's 2 cents: He's right, you know. Can't blame him for griping. I would too. The packaging was such a let down ... a plastic take away box ... burger, salad and soggy fries all crammed in. You'd think the cost of the burger would have covered at least a half-decent 2 package deal to prevent soggy buns. Yeekh. Even the cheap fast food joints with flattened, cardboardy tasting patties have better packaging.)

PS: Check out Arlo Guthrie's "Significance of the Pickle" also known as "The Motorcycle Song". It's a very entertaining song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmCwvvwpPAo